of life and friendship

it's raining too heavily for my liking.there's no way i'm gonna risk getting wet just to get my shoes.
that's when i picked up the Lifestyle segment of the Sunday Times today.read some columns in the Reflect page which got me thinking.
one was about slowing down and learning to appreciate the little sweet moments of life.stop and smell the roses.and that was one piece of advice i gave a friend last Xmas.i can't remember when it was that i finally realised how important it is to take life less seriously and start looking up and around at the world,instead of just focusing on my studies and ambition.life is too short to just spend half your lifetime rushing to meet deadlines and fulfill promises.you need time to sit back and relax,breathe deep and get some fresh mountain air into your lungs and head.
and i'm glad that i've stopped and smelt some fragrant flowers too.and cookies.and inevitably some crap as well.the many things that i failed to notice when i take the bus and train,the little details about my friends that eluded me,and some weird chracteristics of my family members.just some of the many things that are way more interesting and important than pursuing my dreams or goals.they touch me.i don't know how because they never did before.
maybe that explains me deciding to change the way i approach life.i used to want this and that,tell myself i want to be the owner of a bakeshop,where i want to be living when im 30,how many children i want and how beautiful my wife will be blah blah.yeah,i can achieve all these if i set my mind on it,they're not out of my league i know.but now,i wonder if that's what i really want.i'm equally contented living in a HDB flat.as long as its decor is what i have in mind.i can do without 60 inch plasma TVs,sophisticated home theatre and sound systems,designer goods etc.i don't have to be a bakeshop owner to experience the high i get when someone tells me they love what i did.
all i ask for is a life which i don't have to experience the villians of life and all animals are safe,everyone is happy and safe most of the time,and i have friends that i can keep for life.so don't ask me what i want to do when i grow up.i'll never grow up because i know such idealistic views are childish.but let me be childish.that's the only way i can smell the roses.

the other column spoke of why the author won't think of settling down in another country.what mattered to him are the friends and relatives in Singapore.
so,do you have friends for keeps?friends who'd die for you,go out of the way to help you without any consideration of danger and inconvenience?friends who'd go out with you when you're bored even though they don't feel like stepping out of their homes?
i regret not having many,if any,of these pals in my bag.there's barely a handful that i'd talk to about my troubles and problems.too many hi-bye friends,too many acquantainces that i don't follow up.and none of us can help it.
everyone makes new friends and form new bonds in different stages of their lives.for me,stepping into JC opened up a whole new dimension of people for me to know.the fantastic class of 67,world's best canoeing team,these are the people whom im still closest to,albeit only a few.we can talk about the world,girls,relationships,dirty jokes,girls,gossip,basically everything.then it's off to NS for the guys and uni for the girls.and we make new friends,spend less time with each other and eventually become hi-bye friends.can you do anything about it?yes,but only if you bother keeping up with each other ever so often.girls have to focus on their studies,guys busy with national duties and training.those with girlfriends spend their precious time talking to them and hardly contact the other guys.girls form new cliques in school,and meet up with their former classmates,the ones who mattered in JC, maybe once a sem,maybe none.
now,i'm not targeting anyone in particular.i believe this is the norm nationwide,same in every level of education,every stage of life.
i'm just saddened by the fact that this is the way it is,and there is only one way to stop it from happening to me,that is, to keep in touch with each other.but,this will only work if the other party has the same mentality as you.you'd have to have the urge and desire to want to keep your friends and be significant to them,to stop being a hi-bye,to be able to talk about the things you used to,to act like yourselves instead of being like strangers.
it's hard.i'd tried.
sad to say,there is no one around for whom i'm willing to die for.but for many,i'd help you if you need me as long as you promise i won't die from doing so,or that it's more convenient for me to do it than for you to do the task.and i'm always available if you need a listening ear,or just someone to go shopping with,or just some company.always.unless of course,i have some commitment that i can't postpone.
friends are a big part of my life,and i have few for keeps.
surprisingly how small my life seems.