it's high time i climb seriously.
since krabi, i've been chilling out at the gym, doing random bouldering problems, setting fun and sick routes, doing a bit of endurance sets and watching people climb.
climbaprix is coming.
cherlyn says i'll be the open men champion (written on the paper plate). i'm more realistic. i want to be the intermediate men champion for the first official bouldering competition next year. this is within my means. and if that doesn't happen, i'll gladly take second place. or third. Haha.
slopers, crimps, pinches, odd tiles, jugs, pockets, edges, sidepulls and underclings. bring it on.
i'm all psyched up. the beast within is unleashed.
it's topless and sweating, shrieking like a siren.
so climb with me, juniors and seniors alike. i just may inspire you.

p.s. this is very uncharacteristic of me to be so egocentric. moral of the story: jensen starts training seriously from tomorrow onwards.

I'm used to being the bad guy.
Way back in NCC, I was the foil to my IC's nice master sergeant. I was the terror, the one spouting four-letter words and knocking people down. But luckily, when training is over, I'm still good friends with the juniors.
In army, I am the one who argues with the sergeant. Not that I love conflicts, I just couldn't take it lying down. When someone asks the platoon if they are useless, you don't answer yes. Simple as that. But the gutless idiots just went "yes sergeant". Wow, I couldn't believe my ears. These people have no dignity of any sort. I replied, "Sergeant, we are not useless ok, it's just that we didn't clear the rubbish, does that make us useless?" I think he was stunned and so just sent us to our next lesson. My impression of the platoon became worse. But a few supported me of course. Just that they didn't make any noise.
And now, I just want our gym to be clean and green with 3 huge rooms. Which is why I always want to throw away all the unclaimed stuff which is cluttering up the space. I feel bad having to clear things that may still belong to people, but now that we've issued warnings and announcements that we're clearing out, if anything happens to their belongings, it's not my fault. True, I threw them away without asking you, but I already told you I'll do that if it's not claimed. Whatever. I will be the bad guy for the gym's sake.
I hate reprimanding people. I always feel bad doing so. The other party will feel bad and ill-treated, I'll feel bad for having to do it so openly. But sometimes, people won't learn if you tell them nicely. A nudge goes to a push to a shove. And in the end, things get done, but egos are hurt. For the sake of the people I scold, I'll take the bad-guy tag.
But I don't want to do it again if there is no need to.

Bad Guy Jensen.

thank you team, for being a wonderful bunch of wild cavemen. I really had fun watching you guys fool around during the 3 days. let's keep up this spirit till we can't climb anymore.
school has finally started. at least for me. and the backlog of work that I haven't touched is scaring the balls out of me.
i'm really a lucky guy, to have 2 wonderful angel and mortal. if you do see this somehow, i enjoyed writing to you.

i need to let this out.
i am officially burnt out.
my fingers are throbbing as i type, my mental state is in chaos, i haven't done tutorials for 2 modules since day 1, skipping lectures like nothing, rock camp stuff still yet to be confirmed.
and now, i am part-time maid owing to my mum's recent operation. i will not complain about the maid part. it's something i should do and i will willingly do it. just that it further squeezes in a few elephants into my already bursting brain.
in terms of climbing, i haven't seen much progress yet. fingers are complaining, competitive spirit is waning. but i still love it. maybe after all responsibility of the camp is shed, i will rediscover the carefree attitude that i had as a junior. but that's rather impossible, given that someone has to help guide the juniors. i'm not playing a major trainer role, but i'd still like to see them climb well.
my 4 projects are killing me. not that i've really started on any of them. but the thought that they will be occupying my life for the whole of this and next month is frightening. i haven't been so scared since the Krabi trip. it's really gonna ruin my life. engineers have no life, so how can i die? i don't know, i think i will die many times over and over again. day in day out, it's all about thinking of the assignment deadlines, project meetings and deadlines, camp stuff, the stupid bbq, this shit that shit.
oh man, please come soon, december. if not, i may actually need a god to help me tide through all these crap.

the fun begins 22 Sept.
hell ends 21 Sept.
I hope I'm still alive by then.

you

are not as simple as it seems
got my head spinning
triggered off dormant feelings

i don't know why.