a wall

while walking to class today, i was overcome by a sudden wave of thoughts.

"I am so tired."
"I can't take this anymore."
"What the hell is all this I'm going through?"
"My body is breaking down. I don't feel alive."

This despite the fact that i'm enjoying my climbing. it baffles me.
the fact that i'm sick of studying things that i don't care for is known to all. and i'm not going to whine about it here. i feel like a drone trudging the earth, not so much a worker ant with a mission to sustain the nest food supply, but more of a jellyfish fleeting aimlessly in the ocean, its course dictated by the currents which push it where they please.

i am just a little man. though sometimes i feel so alive, so full of life in me, the question of my existence still bugs me. it's up to me to decide what i do when i'm still alive, but many times i was disillusioned by how life sucks and how meaningless my life is. at least meaningless to me.

wake up and smell the roses? or just find the right path and walk it?

maybe it's just the midterms and the projects bothering me. i still don't see my future after NUS.

till then, i'll just enjoy what i see, hear, feel and sense.

limpeh kena tagged.

This is what you are supposed to cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game..Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.

1. i like to eat smelly things. esp pig innards. the kidney rocks. haven't tried chou tofu though.
2. i don't like to wear black.
3. i have a small hole near my left ear. think it's a gland or something. my mum said that my dad said that if i didn't have one (he has one), i'm not his son, cos apparently, my grandad has it too.
4. when in school, i almost eat vegetarian for lunch everytime. cheap and super good!
5. i've been using the same pencil case for 6 years. its a gift from my sis.
6. cannot tahan clutter. will go mad.

Project boulderactive

this post is the result of my failed research for this fucking project.(i have 3 fucking projects)

why do i hate projects?

1. you don't always find relevant materials essential for it.

2. the time and effort needed to squeeze out every drop of that 20%.

3. project members who do shit. or rather shit nothing at all.

4. i don't usually know how to do the necessary stuff.

---------------------------

maybe i should just stop complaining. it's only a project.
but no harm complaining, cos i'm gonna do it anyway.

march 23-25 Boulderactive the atrium @ Dhoby Ghaut. Come see me defy gravity.

i'm almost getting used to getting home at 11, tired from training.

i'm not sure whether this has taken its toll on me, but i sure do know that i'm not paying as much attention to schoolwork as i really should. i think it's time to be a student-climber. need to produce some good grades to keep my hopes of a 2nd lower honours afloat.

bumped into hongkeat today. or rather, he bumped into me. it's been so long since i last saw him, and i'm surprised we still can talk some cock. some friends just never die on you. but i admit it will never return to the days when we fool around and make merry with what ever rubbish we can lay our hands on. maybe a fraction of it will be enough.

i'm a much happier person now. somehow, Joseph's Tuesdays with Morrie has really changed my perspective of MY life. i am but one little grain of sand on a beach. but i can be the happiest grain. although some angst and animosity still lives in me, i try to suppress these feelings and look past them so that i can accept some people whom i previously could not bear the sight of. suddenly, they don't seem so bad after all.