get set

it's about time that i start getting my act together again and study for the upcoming exams.

i find it hard to push for higher and more respectable grades, even though i've told myself that it is necessary to score this sem since next sem will be a hell of time for me (both ways). training will be tough and more frequent, no time for any other form of social life(which hasn't exactly showed face this sem) and another programming module will attempt to suck the sorry life out of me.

well well people, i say "FUCK!" to all that competition for As. let's just get this sem over and done with, so we can truly enjoy the holidays and of course, Christmas!

my fingers are hurting as i type.i need sponsors for glucosamine.

lost and found

suddenly i see it.

there is a reason for me to stufy hard.
i need good grades.
so i can fall back on them when i don't feel like studying hard for a semester.

well, come on, what's life without a bit of rebellion?
after all, they only look at the degree.

to climb, to seek the reason to my existence,
i have to study.
HARD.

monologue

why does it hurt so much?
because you overestimated yourself.
then why does it still feel so good when i climb,even when it hurts?
because you are enjoying yourself.
why do i climb though it hurts?
because you fucking brainless.

aiyah.
what the hell.
no pain no gain is crap, but i can't miss a minute of climbing if i can help it.
even with the pain.
grit your teeth, because the pain is slowly melting away, and you will come to see that everything is worth it,even if it hurts.
climb jensen climb, because that's all you can do.

bashed.

i'm tired.

the mind doesn't respond to anything except food. i wonder if it's the prelude to an eating disorder. been eating way more than i ever had. even though i'm enjoying every second of slurping down ah balling with ginger soup or biting into a freshly-fried youtiao, i know nobody should indulge in food to such extent. there is no life in me apart from eating.

there hasn't been any motivation to study hard like last sem, and i doubt any will come along to wake up my bloody idea. regret hits me like a train, for choosing engineering (or rather leaving it to fate to choose for me, stupid coin....) is proving to be the worst mistake i've made. 5 sems to go. there's nothing left to hang on to apart from the tiles in the rock gym, the rocks out there in the wild and all you people's hands.

pick me up, before i get too heavy.

Crooked Teeth by Death Cab For Cutie

one of the cutest videos i've ever watched.enjoy.

Computers....scum of Earth.

i just flunked my programming test.

yes i didn't put in much effort,yes i didn't do much for the test,yes i didn't do a comprehensive helpsheet that will get me out of trouble.

somehow, this seems real trivial to me, even if i know it will really pull down my grades drastically.

feel like giving up.

i fucking hate programming.

it talks!

my finger(s) is screaming at me.
"give me a break!"

it's hard to live with the truth.
i guess light climbing will do for now.
i hope i don't succumb to temptation again.
the rock gym is a very evil place,tempting me always.