it starts now.

sore fingers
aching muscles
sprains strains pulls
falls
near-misses
deteriorating CAP
no time to sleep
no time to do homework
no time

i'll take you on.

Take the plunge, into a shitpile

i haven't really been churning out entries like i used to.short and sharp was never my style,but now i think time is really not with me.
my timetable this semester is really a stinker.four full days,with wednesday free to give me a breather.actually not really,since i'll probably be struggling to write programs for my computing lab sessions and mugging for the tutorials.and i can't even bring myself to sit and read the C++ textbook,its sheer size intimidates me and reduces me to a kindergarten kid who is afraid of mathematical sums.i got myself into this shit,now i have to find a way to pick myself out from this mess.but how,when shit is up to my eyes?Haha guess i just have to wait till motivation hits me in whatever form it comes in.
i didn't get my ippt gold.but i'm not sad,because i pushed myself to my limits.although i was 35 seconds off the mark,i know if i train harder for it,it'll be within reach.just inches away from iminent success.if only it is that way always.
i'm very excited about climbing,and i'll be on my toes the next 2 days waiting for the captains to call and confirm the selection.i am confident,and if i fail to make it,i don't know if i'll be able to face up to anyone.i'll still climb,but it won't be the same again.and if i do,i'll train hard and learn everything i can.afterall,thats the whole point of joining the team,to learn the ropes and improve till i can improve no more.competitions will be fun,and it'll be a bonus if i can win anything,but i miss the trainings with the canoeists,and i hope this team will bring me endless joy too.if i make it.
and anyone who took the basic theory driving test?wonder if you have the Kui Hua Bao Dian,or the secret manual.does the new one have any amendments from the old one?anyone knows?

i didn't get it.
haha.
next time.

chocolate

confidence gets you somewhere.
the trial training yesterday left me with high chances of making it into the climbing team.the run was relaxing surprisingly,perhaps because i had youjie with me to chit-chat.and being a familiar face in the gym helps too.almost there....
ippt on wed.though gold still seems out of reach,it's not going to deflate my will.do or do not,there is no try.i will do my best.
hmm,on another note,my primary school's motto is "Do Our Best".

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

i can't find a title for this...

this semester is not going my way.
i've been at my optimal best in the wrong aspect, sleeping in every single lecture for the past 2 days.thats 5 in 2 days.and i pray that i can pick myself up and actually try to stay awake and concentrate on what the lecturer is trying to say rather than succumb to slumberland.it's not that i'm tired, their voices just seem to put me to sleep.this cannot go on.

climbing team selection was a breeze.think i really have a knack for climbing.haha.
hope this turns out well, i really miss tough training and hanging out with fun and like-minded people.
hope this team will be an enjoyable one.

decisions...sigh...

sweat,blood,bruises,loss of sleep and plenty of elation

people can tell you how much effort they had to put in.
and you always try to picture yourself in their shoes and recognise how much they'd toiled for it all.
but it's only when you catch them in action,that you really see for yourself how hard they've worked for every little piece of work and every minute of performance.
well done all raggers.
though i think rag is pointless,it still amazes me how a float can strengthen bonds and minds.

Kid

tuesday.outside AJC.walking to AMK central for lunch after gym.
this little primary school kid was walking towards me, playing with something that looks like either a pillbox or some digital toy thing.it slipped out of his hands and tumbled into a drain.
only that the drain was barricaded by a metal fence that's chin-high for the boy.
my first reaction was "ni yao wo bang ni na ma?"
he nodded.
i leapt over the fence,picked it up and handed back to the kid.
his "xie xie" really made my day.
sometimes,you just have to be nice.it gives you the most unexpected gifts,even if it doesn't cost a penny.
so,be nice.

gold doesn't just drop from the sky

9.44.
i've yet to attain the endurance and stamina to hit this timing.
everyone,please keep reminding how slow i am.
i won't give up till i get you.
400 dollars.
you can fulfil a lot of my dreams...

red water

i went down to the Bloodbank@HSA for my blood donation yesterday,and damn,was it eventful.

The very moment i laid my tired ass on the recliner,the experienced lao nurse ushered in a trainee nurse in my direction.i didn't panic then,since thinking that with the scrutiny of the lao nurse,any mistake made by the trainee will be rectified fast.so,i relax(ing)ed while they did their usual routine. but when the trainee seemed to take a long time to apply the antiseptic on my forearm,i was quite baffled by either her conscientiousness or her incompetence.
her hands weren't very steady while injecting the anaesthetic,taking some time to push the syringe.and when it came to insert the big needle into my vein,i was quite impatient by then,though not showing any signs of it.she chose a different vein from the previous few times i was there,and it resulted in a very slow blood flow into the collecting bag.i believe it took twice as long.
the lao nurse was quite worried and started pulling in and pushing out the needle to get a better reaction from my vein,and happily told me that blood has collected under the skin and i will get a rather nasty bruise in a couple of days.lao nurse apologised many times,trainee apologised many times,i said "it's ok,no problem" many many times,always remembering to smile.well,in the end,the needle site was bleeding rather badly and i needed an ice pack to sooth the pain.or rather i had no choice because all these were done without informing me.
but it was a very fun experience,and hopefully only once-in-a-lifetime. it's not always that you get 3 nurses showing you concern,though i'd not suggest you get caught in a similar situation as me. just hope trainee nurse learned something from poking me the wrong way.she sure is very lucky to have me as a guinea pig.

we learn from mistakes,and then grow from there.

i say we govern our lives by our own set of rules.
there are some problems in life that only the individual is capable of resolving.
sometimes, advice pours in by the bucketloads
but they confuse you and muddles up the situation more so than before.
i believe there is a solution to everything,
it's only up to you to decide if action should be taken to remedy the fault,
or stay in transit and never move on.
it's never comfortable or enjoyable to be stuck in a spot,
where you are stranded with no help in sight.
i've been there many times, and managed to pick myself up from the doldrums
and continue the trying path of life.
occasionally there are arms that pull you along,
words that make you stronger and tougher.
i can be a helpful samaritan,
or i can be your companion for at least some streets that you have to walk,
watching your back and egging you on when times are hard.
but ultimately you have to help yourself by learning to see
that some things can't be forced,
some things need time to weather them away,
and some things will always stick to your skin no matter how hard you rub.
learn to live with the truth, and you will prevail.
only then will true happiness befall you.
life has its dark moments,but in these times there are beacons that guide you
to a more beautiful place where you can forget your worries
and truly enjoy the company of another friend who was guided by the same beacon.
in the face of adversity,there is always at least one kind soul supporting you quietly,
who will bring you the sun if you ask for it.
if only you will turn to face the sun,then the shadows will fall behind you.